40: im taking a study break to listen to some tunes. wanna be respectful of the other people here so i plug in my headphones and have volume at 2/10. dude comes over halfway through the song and says “can you put the volume down?” im confused, but i oblige. 1/10. he waits another minute before coming over and saying “cna you put it down a bit more?” …0/10. FUCK YOU guy!
1 spark: please tell me more about how you love to have your rights as an equal citizen reduced. that really appeals to me. oh.yes.
3 40: Dear dude who wears blazers for no reason, dude who takes every opportunity to let you know how superior his intellectual acumen is that he’ll debate you about something pointless - fuck you.
Seriously guy, being able to present an idea and then proceed to take 10 minutes to explain all of its finer points in the most round about way possible doesn’t make you clever, it makes you pretentious.
Look pal, being able to talk over someone over something nobody gives a shit about doesn’t make you cool it makes you annoying.
Sincerely, my syntax is just as fucking extensive as yours but it’s choosing your words wisely and efficiently that constitutes eloquence, brah.
Spark: Stop trying to talk to me from the next stall over. I’m trying to have a spiritual moment with my bowels, not a conversation with a dude who wears flip flops in a public bathroom (I can of course see this from my stall) and concludes that people dropping deuces are probably the ideal conversationalists. What ever you’re smoking, I’ll take some…..after my shit. Leave me alone until then.
Spark:
Yes, kickback.
If you are from a region chillin out on the Pacific Ocean, then I assume you already know this like all the words to the Fresh Prince theme song. If you don’t, you have done something terribly wrong, fool.
Yes, kickback.
No, it’s not what you get from discharging a firearm into a tin can out in the middle of the woods, you stonecold thug.
Kickbacks are basic to the west coast social scene, so for those of you who wish to chill like a real dude, listen the fuck up.
Step 1, there are no fucking steps dammit. Who the fuck would structure something meant to relax you? Look at that. If you read “step 1” and pulled out a notepad upon which you can attempt to capture chill’s essence, you are in the wrong mindset already, bruddah.
It’s simple, the whole point of a kickback is to do just that. Relax, god dammit.
Kickbacks are small to mid-range social gatherings with anywhere from a handful of people to a dozen or two of good homies. All you need is some good brews (if you wish to drink), good green (if you wish to pretend to be a steam engine for a night, which I sure you you will feel like after too many puffs), and most importantly some fucking chill music.
Don’t you dare put on LMFAO or you will be punching everyone else in the throat with your obvious need to show everyone how you’re such a party animal. Put on some old Nas, an album of Nujabes or J Dilla, or even some Bob Marley or Jack Johnson if you’re not much of a hip hop head.
After that, sit back and relax. Feel free to chat, this isn’t detention. At the same time, don’t feel over eager to force conversation. I don’t want to hear about how you chugged 30 beers in a minute while I’m trying to groove to some Kendrick Lamar.
If you must play drinking games, then by all means, beer pong is your go to. It can be a very relaxed game and done in small groups as only 4 people are needed. Don’t try to play King’s Cup if you’re some type-A-yell-over-everyone-so-I-can-get-everyone’s-fucking-attention kind of person. You will have ruined everything. Everything. Congratulations on yelling at the top of your lungs while the rest of us were having a jolly fucking time enjoying your prior silence.
Look, I’m not trying to be a dick. I just have seen people show up to kickbacks and ruin everything. I understand some people just may not be in to kickbacks because “it’s so lame you just sit around and don’t do anything.” You’re right we don’t. Now go have fun getting black out at some random club. I’m sure the toilets will keep you and your lunch from earlier in some great company.
Kickback 101, fool. Just do it or don’t. I don’t really give a fuck.
340: hipsters ruin everything. example - girl that would be cute but she wears these stupid fucking hipster horn-rimmed glasses. just wear some normal fucking speks that dont make your face look like that of a preying mantis please?! side note - preying mantises are sick. also, fuck hipster shit.
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
40: shitting my pants.
